A Vase of Flowers

Every flower is fragrant through the power of the Holy Spirit, in a delicate flow of aroma and tenderness of color; the beauty of the Great contained in what is small. Praise and honor to God, Who gives life, Who spreads forth the meadows like a flowering carpet, Who crowns the fields with golden ears of wheat and azure basilisks, and the soul – with the joy of contemplation.

Let us rejoice and sing to Him: Alleluia.

Akathist Glory to God for All Things, Kontakion 3

You can’t control many of the things that are bothering you, but you can control whether there are flowers on the dinner table or not. That was the recommendation my friend gave me when I told her I felt overwhelmed by stressful family situations. For just a second, I thought it was astoundingly bad advice. Flowers on the table seemed like a vastly superficial fix for complex emotional issues, but at least it was a positive action I could take in that moment.  Brushing aside upset feelings, I adorned my dinner table with fresh flowers that evening. The flowers seemed incongruous with everyone’s mood, but it helped me pivot towards a better direction.

Can such a seemingly insignificant choice have much of an impact? Yes! Choosing to bring beauty into my upside-down world was an important inroad. I started to feel less like a victim because I was taking action. The next day, the idea of changing what I could control inspired me to tidy the hall closet.  A few days later, I painted an accent wall “sporty” blue in my son’s bedroom, transforming his space into something better. Yard work followed as I brought more intention to how my house and garden made me feel. As I chose comfort and beauty over chaos, my emotions calmed as I made a physical impact for the better on my life.

When I felt inclined to feel helpless about the stuff I still couldn’t fix in my world, I reorganized my kitchen so items that caused me daily annoyances no longer do. Keeping my hands busy while accomplishing small tasks helped me clarify my thoughts and fight the lethargy that comes with sadness and family disturbances.  I even culled my shoes and organized my closet. Why was I keeping all those hateful high heels and frumpy flats?  Getting rid of physical clutter helped me toss unhelpful ruminations. As I did these projects, sometimes I worked in quiet solitude. I kept the television and its clamor off. At other times I listened to spiritual podcasts which encouraged me as I guarded my thoughts from fears of the worst. I prayed thankful prayers and chose trust over anxiety. Slowly, the impact of increased beauty and order helped ease tensions. I formed new habits of fighting negative thoughts through quiet prayer and the distraction of tasks.

The issues causing my stress are ongoing, but my family is healing within the storm. Starting with a vase of zinnias, beauty helped ease tensions and soothe spirits. Over the past months, I’ve focused on doing positive things within my control instead of wailing helplessly about the things I can’t change and worse, things that might not ever even happen. Intentionally bringing a little more peace end beauty to my home helped created a more positive space for my family. Stabilizing my own emotions and decreasing my feelings of helplessness increases the likelihood that I’m steadier and more able to comfort others when troubles arise.

Dostoevsky wrote that beauty would save the world. God created beauty and made us able to appreciate, create, and restore beauty. Part of bearing His image is bringing physical and spiritual beauty into our own homes and lives and thanking Him for it, knowing that His beauty lasts forever.

How can you bring a little beauty into your space?

What are ordinary things within your control that you can improve right now?

 What kinds of things might you keep out of your home so it feels protected from outside issues- so it’s your haven?

What are actions you can take to develop watchfulness to guard your heart and mind?

In Chapter 2 of Woven we discuss emotions. God can transform our painful emotions into helpful emotions. It takes time, but choosing positive actions helps us grow in healthier directions. Cutting off the bitter roots of anxious thoughts and leaning on the Lord helps us experience trust and hope even when our outward circumstances hardly change.

Here are some scripture verses to ponder in place of stressful thoughts:

Psalm 119

1 Peter 5:10

Isaiah 40:8

Romans 5:5