So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. James 1:19-20

How do you feel in your body when you are angry? Do you clench your fists without even meaning to? Do you feel tight and wound up, ready to pounce on someone? How long does it take you to get back to normal after feeling a lot of anger?

Most people feel it takes them a long time to cool down when they are angry, but a study done in the UK by a police union states is only takes 90 seconds.

Yes, I said 90 seconds. It takes 90 seconds if you choose to cool down right away after you start getting angry. Those first few seconds make all the difference.

Let’s say someone is rude to you. You feel anger as a response. That anger response is also a chemical reaction in your body. What may surprise you is that your body wants you to calm down. Our bodies like to have things in balance so right after releasing all those anger juices, it then releases chemicals to calm us down. Stepping out of a situation for 90 seconds just at the moment when you first feel anger can keep you from acting out in a way you may regret. Those 90 seconds of removing yourself, calming yourself, or choosing other thoughts gives you a way to keep in control of yourself and react in the way you choose to react without feeling controlled by your own anger.

90 seconds can prevent you from an anger outburst which would increase the negativity of the moment and set off more offensive behavior for both you and the other guy. A 90 second pause buys you a moment to react creatively, to use humor, or to use your wits in another way to defend yourself, express yourself, or stand your ground without creating a worse situation. It may also give the other guy a chance to rethink the ugly thing he’s done and wonder what you are going to do about it!

Be slow to speak and slow to wrath so you can get back in control of yourself. Choose to react without losing control due to anger and then see if your response is more righteous and pleasing to God. Instead of dragging your anger around for days while you ruminate on it and let it mess up other areas of your life, let it go right away. Find a way to react which solves the problem and get back to being joyful.

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Dealing with anger (and other emotions that can grow from rejection) is one of many topics geared for young men in our new book Forged which is available for purchase now at www.woveninhislove.org.