On a recent summer day, before Corona, we were out in Clearwater Bay with four of our kids.  The day was sunny, bright and hot which drew us deeper into the surrounding fingers and shoals to explore and swim.  We discovered a derelict boat, live conchs on a sand bar and choppy waters near the inlet. Feeling comfortable with the elements, we cruised over to the beach on the outside of the inlet to swim and explore that area as well.  

“The water is so clear here,” my son said as he slithered into the bath-warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico.  Slightly buoyant on an old pool noodle and wearing a wide brimmed hat, I hunkered low in the water to escape the sun’s rays and obtain some slight relief from the heat. After several minutes, I emerged from the water and looked back toward the mainland to see great angry clouds.  In the distance, the clouds were amplifying every second, like steam escaping a broad boiling pot. 

“Hodes, we’d better pay attention to that,” I said to my husband pointing toward the horizon. 

We sat inert in the water, ignoring the clouds and the imminent danger for a time.  Then, a dull roll of thunder echoed in the distance at once motivating us to lift our lethargic bodies from the gulf and get out of there.  

With the storm approaching quickly, now we had to rely on our little wooden boat. Would the motor start?  Would the winds pick up and swamp us like the derelict vessel we’d just passed?  Would she be able to handle the waves? 

These questions remind me of my daily walk with God.  Am I relying upon Him during these difficult times?  Or, have I figured out all the options myself?  Am I trusting that He is going to deliver me to safety?  Or, am I relying on my own speculations about the world to get me through?  Do I have confidence that by His grace, I’m going to emerge from this stormy season a whole and better person?  Or, am I ignoring God and holding on to my own vision to get me through this time?

Saying St. Philaret’s prayer each morning, I am beginning to realize that I rely incredibly upon myself, my thinking, my plans. I’m too full of my own will to allow God to work His awesome plans in my life.  

I know that I will be better off, less stressed, less overwhelmed when I let go in all things.  This reliance upon myself crops up each day, like these afternoon storms in the gulf.  The storms are persistent, and I will have to keep praying.

Morning Prayer of Saint Philaret of Moscow

 O Lord, grant me to greet the coming day in peace, 

help me in all things to rely upon your holy will.

In every hour of the day reveal your will to me.

Bless my dealings with all who surround me.

Teach me to treat all that comes to me throughout the day 

with peace of soul and with firm conviction that Your will governs all.

In all my deeds and words, guide my thoughts and feelings.

In unforeseen events, let me not forget that all are sent by you.

Teach me to act firmly and wisely, without embittering and embarrassing others.
Give me strength to bear the fatigue of the coming day with all that it shall bring.
Direct my will, teach me to pray.
And you, yourself, pray in me.
Amen.