Jul 6

Jul 6 Be Always with Christ

In this series, I meditate on one maxim at a time for a few weeks, and then share my reflections. You can read all the maxims here.

1. Be always with Christ and trust God in everything.

Be always with Christ. The first thing that I realized in reflecting on this maxim, is that I rarely am with Christ. I know that Christ is always with me, but how often am I opening the door of my heart to be with Christ? Out of the hours in a day, the minutes in an hour, how often am I with Christ?

Metropolitan Anthony Bloom’s book Beginning to Pray comes to mind. In the first chapter, Bloom discusses our sense of the absence of God:

We complain that God does not make himself present to us for the few minutes we reserve for him, but what about the twenty-three and a half hours during which God may be knocking at our door and we answer, “I am busy. I am sorry.” Or when we do not answer at all because we do not even hear the knock at the door of our heart, of our mind, of our conscience, of our life. So there is a situation in which we have no right to complain of the absence of God, because we are a great deal more absent than he ever is.

In being honest with myself and acknowledging that I am rarely with Christ, I recognize that I am at the bottom of the ladder, having barely begun to climb the rungs. But I know that in my weakness and inability to always be with Christ, Christ is there with me. St. Paul wrote to the Corinthians about a thorn in his flesh, which he pleaded with the Lord to depart from him. As St. Paul heard the Lord say to him in response, Christ responds to each of us, “My grace is sufficient for you, my strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). So rather than feel a sense of defeat, knowing how far I have to go, I can have confidence that Christ, through his grace, slowly works on my heart so that I can come closer to being with him always.

I can daily ask Christ to enlighten the eyes of my understanding, open my ears to receive His words, and teach me His commandments. When it feels like my spiritual progress is slow, I can look back on my life five years ago, when I was repulsed by Christianity and wanted nothing to do with it. I would never have imagined that in five years I would be an Orthodox Christian living at a seminary and preparing to serve the Church with my husband. I see how Christ has softened my heart over the course of time, and I can pray unceasingly that He will continue to do so, through His grace and strength.

It was Christ who welcomed me into His arms after years of being away from Him. After I, like the Prodigal Son, had squandered everything that I had been given, He was there waiting for me. He waited with the fatted calf and put a ring on my finger, receiving me with joy. So I rest assured that each time I have wandered off and forgotten Christ, He waits for me. Glory to God, who in His love and mercy is always ready and willing to be with us, even when we are not ready and willing to be with Him.